Hot, Bloody Shirtless Men
by Hystericfangirl137
Summary: Maka loved them. So, after a fight that left Soul as one, she can't help but indulge herself in shameful thoughts.  Shortish, one-shot, T for pervy Maka and foul language


Oh, how she hated Soul at the moment. It wasn't anything of his own accord, really. He couldn't help that they had just fought a very irritating "threat to Shibusen" that was very, very fond of bloody shirtless men.

It really didn't help that she liked them, too.

After beating the life out of the weapon-gone-mad, they were both very unhappy. Soul's shirt was ripped to shreds, as was a lot of his back and torso. Maka's legs looked like they had gone through a blender, and getting thrown head first into that wall made a nice, thick trail of blood flow from her head. She could barely see the purple of the setting sun sky right - it kept bleeding. Wait, no, that was just her head. They had to lean on each other just to make it out of the dark alleyway to Soul's motorcycle.

"AUGH, DAMMIT!" Maka swore as the great two inch fall from the sidewalk to the concrete sent a burst of pain through her left leg. Soul snickered at his meister's obliviousness before her fist assaulted his stomach.

"OW, DAMMIT, MAKA!" Soul let go of Maka to hug his aching stomach. Injuries hurt, you know.

Maka swore again as the road came up to beat her front as she fell - blender legs, remember? Couldn't stand right without a Soul.

Eventually they stopped groaning and whacking each other in their injuries - Soul only hit her in her head though, smacking her legs (thighs, specifically) would be only worse for his health. They pretended to be civil long enough to make it to the orange motorcycle and hop on.

So here they were on the back of his motorcycle riding back to their shared apartment. Maka had buried her forehead between his bare shoulder blades, her arms hugging his abs, _er, er, torso_ to stay on the speeding vehicle, both parts still covered in his stupid blood.

His stupid, stupid red blood that seemed to blur in her own bloody vision to whipped cream that was screaming _"LICK ME, LICK ME"_.

She shook her head, bloody pigtails whipping around her head while doing so.

"Something wrong?" her weapon asked without looking back - eyes on the road.

Oh yeah. Head in shoulder blades. _He could feel it, stupid._

"N- no. Shut up and k- keep driving." _Damn._ That wasn't a red flag at all.

Soul sighed. He rolled his eyes and said, "Spit it out. And I mean that both ways."

_... Dammit, Soul._ She thought as her cheeks burnt a crimson red as the words spilled from his mouth. Implying words in the wrong minds are dangerous things.

"You wouldn't tell me to shut up normally. I didn't piss you off that much. And obviously you got blood in your mouth if you're stuttering. Spit it out and keep talkin'."

_... Dammit, Soul._ She rolled her eyes. She didn't have blood in her mouth. She wiggled her tongue around to make sure.

Nope, no blood.

But now she wanted to see if he had any blood in his mouth.

She smacked her head against his back to try and clear her thoughts.

"OW, MAKA! I WAS JUST ASKING A QUESTION!" Soul yelled as the scratches in his back flared up in pain.

"OH, DAMN, I DIDN'T MEAN-"

"OH, SHIT!"

* * *

At the moment, they were yet again at an alleyway, Soul barely saving the two teenagers from a crash that would've given them more brain damage than they could handle. The sun outside gave way to a bleeding crescent moon.

"What the hell, Maka? What the HELL?" Soul growled at the blonde. She really should've known better, his back was red with blood all over even if she couldn't stop thinking about the tan skin under it.

"A- ah, Soul. I did not mean to, I swear. It- it was an accident, all right?" the green eyed girl skulked further in the darkness of the alleyway if only to hide the blood flowing brightly through her face. Naughty thoughts are so embarrassing. Granted, It was natural for a teenage girl, but if that blood rushed any more, it would start spurting out of her nose. That would be _more_ embarrassing.

"... Maka, the hell's wrong? You've been acting funky since I sliced that chick in half."

She really, really wanted to say _PUT ON A SHIRT_, but then she realized that would give her away, give away the fact she was ogling her partner. That didn't feel like a very enjoyable scenario. He would've sputtered a bit, ask what was going on, she would've spilled and...

And it would _turn him on_, her embarrassment fueling his teenage boy hormones. Right there in that alleyway they would delve into what was very stereotypical of young adults, sharing tongues and moans and groans, her thighs would be brushing up against his - he would've liked that so - and then he would...

At this point her entire face was going red as she and Soul danced in a way very much akin to the main characters of that hentai manga Blair had forced upon her. She now was blushing ever so furiously, and her fingers twitched as if in an anxious way. Her breath sped up as embarrassment fueled adrenaline sped through her.

And then she slapped herself. Hard.

"Maka! What the HELL did you do that for?"

The next thing she knew, Soul was shaking her by the shoulders, trying to figure out WHAT THE HELL happened.

She quickly shook her head - not that Soul was doing it plenty - and closed her eyes to keep from looking at the man trying to throw her out of her trance. The man who had backed her up, right against that alley wall, in the darkness and nobody would notice...

Oh, dammit, another dirty thought, and just from a few observations about their surroundings. She needed help.

Again, her fantasy popped in her head ever much more clearer, except now it was rougher, and neither of them was holding anything back.

She let out a moan.

Non-fantasy alleyway.

Suddenly she wasn't being tossed around like prey, and her sexy, ravenous beast of a hunter was now just staring at her. There was a worried look in his eyes, tired as they may have looked.

She gulped down her scenarios. "W-what?" She sounded way too out of breath for Soul to think it was normal. Her face was red as a freakin' tomato, too.

Wait.

Out of breath. Twitchy fingers. Blushing like crazy. Looked like she was about to keel over.

Soul blinked twice to make sure blood wasn't clouding his vision. And then he burst laughter, a big grin crowding his face.

"W-WHAT ARE YOU LAUGHING AT?" Maka yelled at him is a frenzied sort of tone.

After he recovered, he simply looked her at her with that stupid grin.

"Oh, what, you don't think I don't know? I'm a man, for God's sake."

Green eyes widened, her blush made it look like she was about to explode, and she bit her lip to stop her from saying anything.

"... C'mon, let's go home."

And he backed off. Just like that. He limped using the wall to keep himself up on his feet. He made his way to his motorcycle, sat, and just stared back. He waved, telling her to hurry up.

She slumped her shoulders. Oh, what, he just didn't care about stuff like that?

_... Soul was gay._ She wondered. That must be it.

A sigh escaped her as she leaned on the wall. She smirked and shook her head in her stupidity. _Ah, well. _She casually made her way to the end of the alleyway.

"Stupid."

Soul returned her smirk. Then he suddenly grabbed Maka's arm, and she let out a shriek. A shriek buried in his chest, but whatever. She looked up with a _"what."_ look encompassing her features. That's when he moved forward and whispered in her ear:

"Now, let's get home. I got a _big_ bed. There's more than enough room for the two us..."

And as it turns out, Soul wasn't gay.

_Not at all._

* * *

_**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **Well. First time I've written in a while, huh? Rate and review nonetheless, even if it's filled with such comments like as a brainless monkey fangirl might spurt out._


End file.
